Dinner time at Shady Acres…

Posted on January 16, 2012

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Four of us at the table.

Sadie sat holding her side  side. Every few minutes she cried out … I’ve never had pain like it.

Concerned, Dorothy leaned over taking Sadie”s hand: “Maybe it’s gas? Have you had a bowl movement lately.”

Frank: ” Did anyone see the Hockey game last night? The Ranger’s hammered the Leaf’s three nothing.”

Clutching her side  Scried out again… :” God, it’s worse that childbirth… I’ve had three … one of them a breech delivery.”

Frank: ” The leafs used their second string goalie. I don’t think it made any difference …the defence stunk.”

Sadie cried out again.

Mary stood up, I’m getting the nurse…. this is serious!”

Dorothy: ” Sadie,  is it sort of a grabbing pain? I think it’s neuralgia…  you  have hundreds of nerves all over your body. Each one can have a tooth ache.Well it’s  not really a tooth ache …but they can get the same kind of stabbing pain. I read about it in the Reader’s digest. Or I suppose it could be a heart attack?

Mary arrives back with the nurse who has a whispered conversation with  Sadie , bits of which everyone can hear: ” Gas…. chili… movement… the runs…”

Nurse: “Sadiie, do you feel like you’re going to throw up?”

Frank: ” The Leafs play Boston tonight. If they don’t pull up their socks…. oops ….  excuse me,” he beats a hasty retreat.

Mary : “Men are such sissies.. they scream  for blood and guts at hockey games, but mention the runs or barphing and they turn white and flip their buskits.”

The nurse gives Sadie a Tylenol and orders her scrambled eggs and dry toast from the kitchen.

Sadie: ” I don’t feel like eating anything.”

Dorothy : But Sadie you’ve got to eat. You don’t want to go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

Mary: “I certainly don’t want to go to sleep on somebody’s empty stomach – whose empty stomach did you have in mind?”

Frank returns.

Mary: “Frank, have I ever gone to sleep on your empty stomach?”

Dorothy: ” Do you know what my son did? He cleaned out my bank account and bought himself a new car …  Wait til I get a hold of him.”

Frank: ” What kind of car?”

Dorothy; ” I have no idea. I don’t know one car from another. I think it’s  a Pukick or a Vomick?”

Frank: ” You mean a Buick?”

Dorothy: ” That’s it… a Buick and it cost forty-thousand dollars. There’s no money left in my account. I’ll get thrown out of this place. Just wait til I get my hands on him.”

Mary: ” Dorothy, don’t talk nonsense. Harvey’s your only child … well he’ not a child now that he’s retired. Anyway you’ve been telling us how much money you have in investments, so you’re not near broke. You’ve also been telling us, repeatedly, how you’ve told Harvey that if he needs money that you’ve got more than you’ll ever need.”

Frank; “Dorothy last week didn’t you complain  about a rough ride,  telling Harvey he should get a new car, and that he should get a good one, and that you’d help him out?”

Dorothy: ” Well… maybe. But I never said forty-thousand dollars. You know what I’m going to tell him the  next time I see him? I’m going to say that I gave birth to a girl and the women in the next bed had a boy. She wanted a girl, I didn’t care so we traded babies. So I’ll tell Harvey he’s not even my child. That’ll get his attention!”

Mary: ” Dorothy, that’s awful.  You told us that Harvey’s father was killed in the war when Harvey was on a few months old. So you were both his mother and father til you remarried when Harvey turned sixteen. Your not only his mother but his best friend..  He’s so good to you, comes to see you regularly, does your shopping, takes you to family gatherings with your grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Most people in this retirement hom are terribly lonely, they’d  give their right arm to have a son and family like yours. Don’t be a silly goose.  Please don’t risk losing such a treasure over a bit of money .”

Dorothy: “A bit of money… it’s forty thousand dollars!”

Mary: ” I don’t care how much money it is. It’s not worth losing your family over it. Frank will give  you forty thousand dollars for your family. Will that make you happy?”

Frank: ” I’m going to watch the hockey game.”

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Posted in: Sciencing